- ghost: hamlet your uncle killed me so can you kill him
- hamlet: sure dad i'm on it
- hamlet: (acts strangely)
- hamlet: (writes part of a play)
- hamlet: (kills the wrong guy)
- ghost: jfc son just kill him already
- hamlet: okay okay fine i'll do it
- hamlet: (gets kidnapped by pirates)
the world's oldest ship war
- Aeschylus: Achilles goes on top.
- Plato: No; definitely Patroclus.
- Xenophon: They were just friends.
- Plato: Shut up, Xenophon.
- Aeschines: It's practically canon.
- Aristarchus: I know it looks canon, but Homer didn't write that - someone added it later.
- Shakespeare: It's canon.
Titus Andronicus: "Well That Escalated Quickly"Romeo and Juliet: "Shut Up, You’re Like 12"Julius Caesar: "I Came Out Here to Run the Roman Empire and I Am Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now"Hamlet: "[AGGRESSIVELY PRETENDS TO GO INSANE AND IN THE PROCESS GOES ACTUALLY INSANE…
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